Fellow felines and human companions! I, George, your neighborhood cat correspondent, must report an urgent matter: a new intruder has been spotted in our territory.

Yesterday, while basking in my sunbeam, I caught a glimpse of this strange cat, which I shall call “Spot.” With its chaotic fur blend, it seems to be attempting to blend in with the autumn leaves—good luck with that.

Spot has dared to claim my favorite patch of grass! I sprang into action, strutting like the royalty I am. Spot looked mildly confused, clearly unfamiliar with the reigning ruler of this domain. I added a few flicks of my tail and a disdainful yawn to really drive the point home.

My human thinks Spot could use a friend. I’d like to formally request they reconsider—no gifts, no friendship! Until then, I’ll continue to guard every sunbeam and cozy blanket as my own.

Keep your claws sharp and your snacks plentiful, my fellow cats! If you see Spot, give it a hiss for me.